


Dave And Karkat Figure Out How To Be Good Parents While Also Trying To Work Out their Own Issues And Reconnect With Their Family: The Musical

by SaveTheBees2k20



Series: The Baby Is You: The Musical [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dave And Karkat are good parents, Divorce, F/F, F/M, Failed Relationships, Gender Dysphoria, Jane crocker is a bad parent, June Egbert - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Reconciliation, Trans Female Character, but it takes elements from them, dave finally comes out of his shell and is allowed to be happy, lots of fluff, not the epilouges
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21895981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaveTheBees2k20/pseuds/SaveTheBees2k20
Summary: Sorry if this is really messy. I tend to write alot and never post it so I decided to post this one and go back and clean it up later. Hopefully it makes sense haha. Also this is my first fanfic that I've ever posted so pls go easy on me uwu. Feel free to leave Constructive criticism.
Relationships: Calliope/Roxy Lalonde, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Jane Crocker/Jake English, John Egbert/Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert/Terezi Pyrope, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket
Series: The Baby Is You: The Musical [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1577245
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	1. Prolouge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is really messy. I tend to write alot and never post it so I decided to post this one and go back and clean it up later. Hopefully it makes sense haha. Also this is my first fanfic that I've ever posted so pls go easy on me uwu. Feel free to leave Constructive criticism.

[Jakelover63 Started The Group "God boys fanclub groupchat!! ♡♧◇☆Shippers welcome!! Antis dont interact!!! >:(" ]

ADMIN: I call to order the creators FANCLUB!! Aka the best fanclub for the creators there is because were not plagued with a bunch of dumb antis uwu!

I love karkat.I'm a biggest fan of davkot 

Hi I'm new to the website does anyone wanna rp with me?

hmplink

love u Jake

Check out my fanart! ^w^ 

Omg so cute & yaoi 🥰 

I love Jake more than anyone in the world #Jake Is MINE!!!

I big of boys I love them lot

hi who is your fourite dave or dirk

BSLO: I love dave and dirk follow my on twitter @BellaStriderloverOffic

Definitely dave

Has anyone seen this pic of karkat?? :0  
[Very blurry pic of karkat getting his mail] 

Is that him hive? 

That looks too small to be his house 

FAKE!!1!1 

hey everyone

Hi everyone 

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!

Jakelover17 can you come over to my house for o sleepover

ADMIN: Did you hear?? About the baby? 

IS JAKE PREGANT?

lmao 

I love JAKE englush !!!!!

I LOVE DIRK  
DS ROCKS  
LOL

No!! THE DAVKAT BABY!!!!!!!!

WHAT 

Ahhhhhh!!!!!

How havent I heard about this?!?!

I 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💜💜💛💜💜 John Egbert

I AM A BIG FAN AND I HAD NO CLUE ABOUT THIS WEBSITE TILL MY SISSTER TOLD ME AND I WAS HAPPY(:

It just happened like a day ago I think. it's just a rumor rn but a bunch of news is reporting on it. 

I realey love Karkat

I realey love Karkat

AGHH!! THEY adopted????

Same he's my fave too!!! :)  
My cutie pants! *Swoons*

Gods are the fucking sheat porn stars

Dave are gei Karkat are the fucking girl Dirk stride it's a verry lisbian porn star

hi

ADMIN: I think!! I heard about it on twitter, apparently they adopted a baby grub <3

Hi Jake I Love You

Woah! :0

Love them

Awe!!! Is it a girl or boy :3

Lol you guys know they don't care about  
You right? They're a bunch of losers who can't Do anything! Lol why don't u little 12 year olds get a life?

ADMIN: I dont know yet but they're definitely gonna be cute ^u^

Aweee

First off , I'm not twelve . Second I have more of a life than u ever will , sitting here hating on amazing people . Feeling SRY for u rite now cause ur a jealous shit . Lol

Dont dovekit live forever?? Why wont they adopt fushia blood!

That's racist :(

You need you facts straight for one, and two if we did this to you most likely you would get mad so stop.

ADMIN: Ugh hold on 

U r just some stupid jealous person who is too insecure do ur hating on people better than u . Lol . I feel SRY 4 u

[ JAKELOVER63 BANNED 2 USERS FROM "God boys fanclub groupchat!! ♡♧◇☆Shippers welcome!! Antis dont interact!!!  
>:(" ]

I'm seeing jake and dirks show tonight for the first time and i'm SO EXCITED. i got these tickets in january for my 14th birthday, and the night is FINALLY HERE. CAN BARELY CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT. LETS DO THIS.

Hi. My fav ship is davekat I luv them so much

I luv god boys soooooooo much

Hiiiiiii

Hii

Dave is on the website wattpad his user is Striderlovesyaoikarkat he actually talks back to you!

Omg is he still here

Is Dave Strider really chatting with people right

ADMIN: Guys theres an update!!! 

That was fast 

ADMIN: They released an article! [ link ]

\--------------

CELEB NEWS DAILY 

Star crossed lovers Dave Strider and Karkat Vantas Confirm adoption of newly hatched grub- exclusive interview with neighbor. 

Speculations have been going around for years about which gods will be the next to have children. After Rose and Kanaya Lalonde adopted a newly hatched grub almost two years ago, everyone has been talking about which god will settle down and have kids, however I don't think anyone was expecting the Davekat duo would be next! 

After a tirade of rumors, some of which speculate that the two brought home not one, but five grubs, everyone has been waiting for confirmation on weather the two lovers, who confirmed they were indeed in a relationship just last year, have adopted or not. So far it's been radio silence on the two god's social media since last Tuesday, when the rumors began to surface on the internet. However, a self proclaimed neighbor of the two gods - who wishes to remain anonymous- has come forward to be interviewed here exclusively. 

" I'd seen em comin home one day, the human one was carryin a stroller, and the other one was tenderly holdin a blanket with something wrapped in it, which I thought was strange so I says to em, 'hows it goin, neighbor?'"  
The neighbor then goes on to say that the two did not respond, however, dave apparently "did an awkward hand gesture as if to say 'dont worry about it'" before "bookin it inside their hive" where the two have not been heard from since, when asked what the neighborhor suspected karkat was holding in the blanket, they responded with "Definitely grubs, I couldn't get a good look at em, but I'm sure it was at least two, maybe three and it looked like the human one had another in the stroller."  
Since the rumor, fans of the gods have been speculating on what blood color the grubs are. We asked the thoughts of some of these conspiracy theorists and one avid fan responded with "They're totally adopting a bunch of fushia bloods! It only makes sense, they're immortal and fushias live like a billion years" 

The news isn't all positive, though. Some anti-interspecies groups have said that the adoption is "unnatural" and that interspecies couples have no rights adopting baby trolls. Its particularly controversial considering this could mark the beginning of a wave of adoption by couples of different species altogether, which had previously been allowed, however, since the arrival of the gods almost 15 years ago, the popularity of interspecies relationships has skyrocketed, resulting in anti interspecies groups and restriction laws surfacing in almost every kingdom. 

Whatever the circumstances, or controversy, we here at celebnewsdaily wish them congratulations on the adoption, and good luck!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ty for reading! I'm not entirely sure if this is going to have a full on plot, or if this is just going to be a collection of dialouge and story's that take place within the same universe. I have a bunch written but no complete plot line just yet. Also please leave suggestions in the comments! I plan to use the comments as a command suggestion box. ♡♡


	2. Chapter 2

Karkat: THERE'S ANOTHER ARTICLE 

Dave: ugh 

Dave: Dude dont pay any attention to it. 

Karkat: THEY'RE SAYING WE HAVE FIVE GRUBS, DAVE 

Karkat: FIVE 

Dave: Jesus 

Karkat: YEAH 

Karkat: OH GOD DAMMIT 

Karkat: THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I DIDNT WANT TO LIVE IN THE FUCKING SUBURBS 

Dave: huh? 

Karkat: OUR SHITTY NEIGHBOR WHATS HIS FACE IS HANDING OUT TIPS TO THE FUCKING TABLOIDS 

Dave: Awe what 

Dave: That's some fuck shit 

Dave: What happend to being all neighborly and shit 

Dave: Runined my fuckin dreams of bein a passive aggressive suburban neighbor 

Dave: Gettin the mail and seein him and having to make awkward small talk in the drive way 

Dave: "Hows the kids, dave?" 

Dave: "Oh its chill. Considering we only have one and not five." 

Dave: Then he'll hint at me to mow my lawn 

Dave: And I'll accidentally mention the fact that his marriage is failing. 

Dave: Then we'll wave at each other over the fence when I see him grilling outdoors with that awkward dad smile 

Dave: You know the one 

Dave: Even though I was just stepping outside to get some fresh air and instead I have to see his dadbod ass in shorts. 

Dave: But no 

Dave: He ruined it by being a nosey bitch 

Karkat: YOU'VE LITTERALLY BEEN A DAD FOR A WEEK 

Dave: yeah but im feelin it karkat 

Dave: I can see the man I'll become 

Dave: And that's 

Dave: A dude that tells a lot of dad jokes and then is the only one that laughs at them. 

Karkat: DONT YOU ALREADY DO THAT? 

Dave: N-no 

Dave: Well maybe 

Dave: But like I'll have a beard this time 

Dave: Actually yeah 

Dave: Karkat I just decided i'm gonna grow a beard 

Dave: I WOULD do a dad stache but john beat me to that like, 2 years ago and I have a hereditary need to be original 

Dave: Thanks alot dirk 

Dave: But fr dude I'm gonna be a total dilf 

Dave: I'm not hearin a whole lotta enthusiasm from team karkat 

Dave: If you're worried about scratchy kisses I can promise you right now the amount of sexiness I exude will make up for it 

Dave: I'll go from an 8 to at least a 12 

Dave: U wont be able to keep ur hands off the stri 

Dave: Ok that sounded really cringy 

Dave: Point is I'll look hella good with a beard and that's all there is to say on the matter. 

Dave: ..... 

Karkat: ..... 

Dave: Hey uh, 

Dave: I don't actually have to grow a beard you know? 

Dave: I was just kidding. 

Dave: babe? 

Dave: Is it the article? 

Karkat: YEAH 

Karkat: ..... 

Karkat: WAIT, WHAT? 

Karkat: SORRY I WAS LOST IN THOUGHT. 

Dave: .... 

Dave: do you want to talk about it? 

Karkat: I JUST 

Karkat: I THOUGHT WE'D HAVE MORE TIME THAN THIS? 

Karkat: MORE TIME WITH HER 

Karkat: LIKE BEFORE ALL THE DUMB MEDIA STUFF 

Karkat: AND ITS GOT ME THINKING 

Karkat: MAYBE WE MADE A MISTAKE? 

Karkat: MAYBE WE RUSHED INTO THIS. 

Karkat: OK WE DEFINITELY RUSHED INTO THIS 

Karkat: I MEAN I LOVE HER, I DO 

Karkat: AND I CAN SAY THAT WITH CERTAINTY 

Karkat: BUT I DONT FEEL RIGHT ABOUT RAISING A CHILD AROUND.... THIS 

Karkat: ALL THIS ATTENTION AND BULLSHIT 

Karkat: I ALWAYS SUBCONSCIOUSLY CRITICIZED ROSE AND JOHN FOR IT 

Karkat: AND YET HERE I AM 

Karkat: DOING THE SAME THING 

Karkat: NOT TO EVEN MENTION THE FACT THAT I LITERALLY HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT IM DOING 

Karkat: I JUST 

Karkat: I DONT KNOW 

Dave: ..... 

Dave: Yeah 

Dave: I mean, I get what you're saying 

Dave: We REALLY rushed into this. 

Dave: But that being said 

Dave: Didnt rose and kanaya do the same thing? 

Dave: and I don't think little harry Anderson was exactly a planned pregnancy. 

Dave: Tavros definitely wasn't 

Dave: But even then, in all honesty 

Dave: I think they're good at it 

Dave: Being parents that is 

Dave: Except for jane ofc cause, y'know fuck her 

Dave: But I think... that's just how these things are done? 

Dave: That or we're all collectively just really bad people. 

Dave: I mean let's be honest 

Dave: Is anyone ever really ready to be a parent? 

Dave: Lets say we hadn't rushed into it, and instead we talked and planned it out and waited till we were completely ready. 

Dave: That's all we would have done. 

Dave: Is just talk and wait. 

Dave: But I want to start a family with you, kat. 

Dave: Not to mention the fact that giving her back would be really fucked up at this point 

Dave: Especially after all that fucking paperwork we signed 

Dave: And I'd be lying If I said I wasn't fucking terrified 

Dave: But at the same time, I'm also really sure about this? 

Dave: More sure than anything I've ever done, I think 

Dave: Like I was somehow just meant to be here, with you and her. 

Dave: Like for the first time I feel completely grounded. 

Dave: And if it makes you feel any better at all 

Dave: You're gonna be an amazing dad, karkat. 

Karkat: THANK YOU, DAVE Karkat: I LOVE YOU 

Dave: I love you too. Dave: Were in this together, okay? 

Karkat: OKAY 

Karkat: ALSO, UH, 

Karkat: I ACTUALLY THINK YOU'LL LOOK REALLY GOOD WITH A BEARD 

Dave: haha, really? 

Karkat: YEAH IT MIGHT GET RID OF YOUR BABY FACE 

Karkat: ALSO I HATE TO ADMIT IT BUT 

Karkat: ITLL BE "HELLA SEXY" 

Dave: Ahhhhhhhh 

Dave: Babe ilysm 

*smooch* 

Dave: Were havin a babeyyyyyy

===> who's the baby?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THAT UPD8 HUH?  
> I love the new kids sm, I was actually surprised to see that they all looked pretty similar to how I imagined them. No spoilers but I definitely plan to write them in this story ;;;;)

**The Baby Is You.**

Not to say that the baby is literally you, as in the reader who is reading this right now, but you as in the girl who we are referring to in the 2nd person, as this story is written in the 2nd person for some reason.

I mean really, who writes a story in the second person? 2nd person point of view is for instructions on IKEA furniture, not narratives. Wouldnt this shit get tiring after a while? Can you imagine reading an entire book, or like, a really long webcomic like that? That sounds exhausting. I could never. I mean, you could never, YOU mean YOU could never. You as in the girl. Unless you are a girl reading this, which is totally cool but you're not the you you're referring to. Fuck.

**=== >Who is you?**

Yous the girl

**=== >cool. What's your name?**

Your name is WILLIE OBAMA VANTAS-STRIDER but most people just call you WILL

You are FOURTEEN years old and live with your 2 DADS who are also GODS who created the universe. It can sometimes be OVERWHELMING to live up to.

You have a variety of INTERESTS including, DEBATING POLITICS online with people twice your age, reading autobiographies of DEAD POLITICIANS, and watching ROMANTIC TRAGEDIES, although you're interest in them is PURELY IRONIC. You're a bit of a PRODIGY and you would have GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL already if you hadn't been EXPELLED due to you using your TELEKINETIC ABILITIES to throw a particularly nasty human through a WALL when he made xenophobic remarks about your dads regarding TROLL RIGHTS, which you are extremely passionate about.

One day you hope to FIX THIS WORLD and unite all the races in it by working your way up the JUDICAL BRANCH of government.

You dont have a typing quirk, however you do like to

EMPHASIZE KEY WORDS in your paragraphs in order to DRAW THE READERS ATTENTION, kind of like this introduction is doing.

Which sometimes makes you sound needlessly dramatic, despite your typically cool demeanor irl.

What will you do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave suggestions about what you want her to do in the comments!!!!


End file.
